Tips for LGBTQ+ Students: How to Find the Right College for You and Thrive There As Your Authentic Self

Luther students march in the 2024 Decorah Pride Parade.

Entering college is a huge transition filled with new experiences and opportunities. For LGBTQ+ students, this change can bring unique challenges, especially when it comes to finding a safe and supportive environment where you can thrive as your authentic self. Whether you’re moving far from home or staying close by, it’s important to know your rights, school policies, and how to build a network that will support you.

Research Your Campus’ Gender-Inclusive Housing

Gender-inclusive housing allows any LGBTQ+ students to live together, regardless of or depending on your assigned sex at birth or sexuality. Some colleges have a gender-inclusive floor in each dorm building, but only allow you to dorm with someone of the same assigned sex as you (e.g., a transgender woman would be allowed to dorm with a gay man, but not with a cisgender woman).

You may want to consider this during your college search. The number of colleges that provide gender-inclusive housing is growing, but not all of them do. Campus Pride indicates that around 470 colleges have gender-inclusive housing in the U.S., but this number could be higher.

Once you have deposited for the college of your choice, they will most likely send out a form to determine a good first-year roommate for you. If these options are available at your college, make sure to indicate in this form that you would like to be in gender-inclusive housing, or on the floor of your gender identity if you feel comfortable with that.

Build a Network That Supports Your Identity

If you are looking for fellow LGBTQ+ students to befriend, a good place to start is to join a Pride club. Many colleges have this, but if not, you could also look for Pride organizations or events to join within the community outside of your college.

Broadening your scope is also helpful. There are many allies who are cisgender and/or heterosexual. If you don’t have gender-inclusive housing or a Pride club, you’ll have to find people on your own. It may seem daunting to find these people, especially if you go to a more conservative college, but they are out there! Here are some more steps you can take to find your people:

• Wear what you want and observe others’ style choices. Many LGBTQ+ students dress unconventionally, so this can be a great way for you to spot them and vice versa.
• Volunteer. There are many queer organizations you can do this at. A simple Google search will reveal which ones are in your area.
• Use the apps. There are several apps available for finding friends in your area. Some of these include Lex, Bumble BFF, Hey! VINA, and Friender.

In addition to friends, you should find faculty/staff that respect your identity. Some college websites have started to include a list of LGBTQ+ staff. Seek them out!

Find friends and faculty that will not only support you but stand up for you. In certain situations you may not feel comfortable or it may not be safe for you to speak up for yourself. Knowing you have a friend to do this for you can be very beneficial for your general wellbeing.

Know the LGBTQ+ Laws in the State Where Your College Is Located

Many states have laws that restrict you from doing certain things, such as using your bathroom of preference or hosting drag events. A great resource for checking these laws by state is lgbtmap.org. They have a map of the U.S. that shows the general LGBTQ+ law trends of any particular state. And if you click into a state, you can see what specific laws they have protecting and/or discriminating against the LGBTQ+ population. A lot of these laws only apply to minors, but it is a great way to compare tolerance levels between states.

One benefit of going to a more liberal private college is that you could be more protected. Many states do not have nondiscrimination laws to protect the LGBTQ+ community. However, a private college can enact their own rules to protect their LGBTQ+ students. You can check which states have nondiscrimination laws by using lgbtmap.org as well.

Know Your College’s Anti-Discrimination Policies

During your college search, Campus Pride is a great website to begin checking how inclusive a college is! It’s a good place to check for general trends. For example, LGBTQ+ students may not feel as comfortable at a Baptist school, as exhibited by their statistics. However, liberal arts colleges tend to score very high on the pride index, showing that it would be a much safer environment for you.

Note that not all colleges are registered on this website, and you may need to check out the college’s website to find out if they have anti-discrimination policies for LGBTQ+ students. If there is nothing on the website, you can email representatives to ask. Good people to look for this are multicultural center staff, admissions office staff, Title IX coordinators, or DEI administrators. You can easily find their emails in the staff directory on a college’s website.

Another good way to determine if a college is inclusive is to visit the campus itself. Be observant. Do you see any Pride flags? Any signs that say “This is a safe space”? These are strong indicators that a college is accepting of all identities.

Above all, trust your gut. If you sense that someone is not a safe person to be around, ask around or avoid them. Putting yourself out there is very important, but your safety should be the priority. Good luck on your college journey! Happy Pride.

LGBTQ+ Climate Resources

Luther College LGBTQ+ Resources