College Fears Debunked: “Am I At The Right Place?”

Going to college for the first time can feel like you’re stepping into the unknown. Whether you’re dreading it or you can’t wait for this experience, you may still be feeling nervous.

So instead of fretting, let’s talk about these fears. No matter what, you should know that going to college is not as scary as you think it will be. In this post of our College Fears Debunked series, we’re diving into the three biggest “what ifs” about knowing if you are making or have made the right college choice — and why you’ll be just fine.

1. “What if I don’t fit in?”

At college, there are many opportunities to integrate yourself within the community.

It’s completely normal to feel out of place when you move into your new college setting. The first couple weeks as a first-year feel a little bit like summer camp before things start to settle down and everyone starts really focusing on classes. You may or may not have friends by this point, or even just a handful of acquaintances, but it’s normal to still feel like you haven’t reached your full potential on campus—it’s because you haven’t, yet!

The good news is that you’re not alone in searching for a feeling of belonging. At college, there are many opportunities to integrate yourself within the community. Join teams, clubs, music ensembles; or even just take a job on campus or in town. Getting involved will provide you with built-in friends and a community with a shared interest. For more information on how to find friends or a community to belong to, take a look at College Fears Debunked: Making Friends. 

If it’s been a semester or two and you still haven’t found a sense of belonging, don’t be discouraged! There’s no time limit on making friends, and these things don’t come instantly or easily. 

2. “What if my dream job isn’t on the syllabus?”

When classes start, you might be feeling unsure about your schedule, your major, or even your future career. You might even be questioning if your college is really the right fit for your academic pursuits. Here are some tips to hold on to: 

• If you have very strong plans for what you want to do in and out of college, plan ahead and look for schools that accommodate your needs and interests.
• Keep in mind that picking your major is an important decision, but not a permanent one! The majority of students will switch their major at some point during their time in college, sometimes even more than once. Your first year, especially, you will take a wide variety of classes that expand your comfort zone—and you might come across something that narrows down your major, or maybe even changes it entirely!
• Talk to your academic advisor. Your advisor is there to help you navigate this process, and will help you determine your next steps going forward, whatever you decide. 

No single class defines whether you’re at “the right place;” what matters is that your school has resources and flexibility to support where you want to go.

3. “What if I don’t love campus like I thought I would?”

Maybe your small town is, in fact, a little too small. Maybe the winters are making you realize you don’t own nearly enough sweaters, and maybe the campus culture isn’t the right fit for your lifestyle. It’s normal to wonder about the other options after you’ve been on campus for a while. 

Truth is, no campus is perfect. But the longer you’re there, the more you’ll adapt to the culture, and discover the places where you feel most at home. Eventually that “I don’t know about this” feeling will wear off into “Okay, this is my spot.” 

• Explore your college town. If you haven’t walked into all the shops, tried all the coffee places, or hiked some of the trails, you just might not have found your favorite spot yet!
• Look for entertainment. If you’re honestly just bored, try and find places that put on events. There might be live music in your area, trivia nights at the coffee shops, or even exciting nightlife at the bars. If large groups of people aren’t your thing, find a friend or two and go walk for a while. It sounds dumb, but you’d be surprised how much fun you can find when you’re adventuring around town in the evening. There are no “stupid ideas” when you’re bored.

And here’s the thing: if you still don’t like where you are (after some time and effort), it’s not the end of the world to look for a college that better suits your interests! Plenty of students transfer and are very successful in finding what and who they were looking for. You’re not committed to a life sentence to the college you chose when you were in high school.

“How do I find the right school?”

Now, if you’re going on college visits with the intention to transfer or to find your first college home,, you’re probably asking, “How can I know if this is the right place for me?” When you ask this question, you’ll usually get a vague answer: “You’ll just know.” For many, this sense of knowing does happen. But a gut feeling shouldn’t be your deciding factor. 

If you’re in the process of going on college tours, reflect on your visits by asking yourself if you’ve:

• Made connections with people.
• Gotten direct, complete answers to all of your questions.
• Felt at home or you are excited to be there.
• Found things that you’re interested in.
• Imagined yourself living there and felt comfortable. 
• Chosen to visit again, and are excited when you arrive on campus.

Your college should have the experience you’re looking for. Find somewhere that you’ll enjoy, and know that plans can change. (Read more about how to make the most of college visits.)

Think of finding the right college fit almost like dating—sometimes it’s love at first sight, sometimes it’s a slow burn, and sometimes you realize you’re just not that into it. No matter where you are, your college will serve a purpose for you in your growth as a person, and that’s what makes it the right place for you right now.