Channeling Grief into Action
Two Student-Athletes Fall in Love
Alex Weber ’16 remembers meeting Moran Lonning ’16 on a sand volleyball court on campus the summer before junior year. “We hit it off right away,” he says. “We’ve just always loved being around each other.”
Alex Weber ’16 and Moran Lonning ’16 fell in love as Luther students.
Alex was a baseball player from Mason City, Iowa, with three older brothers: Shawn, Mark ’10, and Thomas ’13. “I loved visiting Luther when two of my brothers were there,” he says. “When it came time to decide where to go to school, Luther had strong science programs. It had baseball. It was an easy choice for me.”
Moran transferred from the University of Northern Iowa to finish her last two years at Luther, where she played basketball and majored in health promotion. On meeting Alex, she says, “We knew really early on that we want to be together forever.”
Like Father, Like Daughter
Moran grew up in Decorah. Her dad, the late Greg Lonning ’83, was Luther’s director of wellness. Having him as a teacher was impactful, she says: “He really exemplified wellness in all aspects—physical, mental, spiritual, social. He even talked about sexual wellness in his classes. I’ve heard a lot of stories about that from my friends!”
Moran Lonning '16 with her dad, Greg Lonning ’83
Prior to his 15-year teaching career at Luther, Greg was a wrestling coach at several colleges, winning conference titles twice and placing as high as third in the nation. Moran saw the example her dad set and wanted to follow it.
“Like my dad, I wanted to be in that coaching world of helping build leaders,” she says. “My dad was super passionate about building confidence in women. He would always push me to beat the boys in every presidential test or every game in P.E. I grabbed onto the idea of empowering women from him, and in college sports, you get to do that.”
After Luther, Alex and Moran moved to Des Moines so Alex could earn a pharmacy degree at Drake University (he now works as an ambulatory care pharmacist at Mayo Clinic in La Crosse, Wis.). Moran landed an assistant coaching job at Simpson College, 30 miles south in Indianola, Iowa.
In March 2022, Greg died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm. Then, in the span of about a year, Moran moved to a head coach position at Central College, Moran and Alex got married, and Moran’s brother Connor Lonning called to tell her about a head coaching job at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. Moran submitted her application on her honeymoon and, in 2023, became head coach of the UWL women’s basketball team.
Remarkably, Greg followed the same trajectory, with his first head coaching position at Central before moving to coach at UWL. This is one of many ways the couple continues to feel connected to him. “It seems that my entire life, I’ve done exactly what my dad has,” Moran says. “This felt pretty divine. I think my dad was somehow orchestrating it from heaven.”
A Short Time with Charlie
In June 2024, Alex and Moran welcomed a son, Charlie—affectionately called Bubba—into their lives. “He was a baby who really loved to be moving, loved to be held, loved things a very particular way and would let us know loudly if things were not that way,” Moran says. “We joked that he had big emotions. Looking back, we feel grateful that he did, because it really forced us to hold him constantly, so we got to completely exhaust his short time here with how much love we got to give him.”
Alex Weber ’16 and Moran Lonning ’16 with their son, Charlie
She continues, “Having a baby together was super magical. I think back to those two weeks when we got to stay home from work as a family. It felt like we were in some sort of heaven. All three of us together, and nothing else really mattered. We’d be laughing and crying, and Alex would be playing different songs that he’d played a million times, but now with Charlie in our arms, they meant something a little bit different. They evolved again once Charlie passed away.”
Charlie died at daycare at three months old from Sudden Unexpected Infant Death. With no clear answers about what caused it, Alex says, “We’ll never really get closure on that end of things. That’s something we’re going to have to grapple with our entire lives, just trusting and understanding that we did everything we could in a safe way, and for whatever reason, Charlie’s life just ended. It’s a piece of our lives that’s really difficult to manage.”
Coaching through Grief
After Charlie died, Alex and Moran were wrapped in a community of support, including from Moran’s team. “When I got to UWL, I really put all my effort into making sure my players knew that I loved them outside of basketball,” Moran says. “Who knew that would come back and be so important for me and Alex and Charlie later on? Not just the players but also their parents completely wrapped us up and lifted us up and engulfed us in love.”
Moran Lonning '16 and Alex Weber '16 with Moran's basketball team at the University of Wisconsin–La Crosse
Just weeks after Charlie’s passing, Moran led UWL through a remarkable season, ultimately earning the last at-large NCAA Division III tournament bid, where the team won its first NCAA tournament game in 37 years and narrowly missed the Sweet Sixteen.
Family friend Tony Ayala recalls the heartbreaking back and forth during this intense time. “I remember cheering on the team and seeing Coach Mo sitting on the sidelines during warm-ups with her head in her lap, having a moment of breakdown, tears flowing. I asked her brother, who was sitting next to me, ‘Is she okay?’ And he said, ‘This is what grief looks like.’ In a couple of minutes, she’s back at it, standing up, supporting her team, and coaching as a Division III women’s basketball coach would be doing.”
The decision to coach during this time wasn’t easy, but, Moran says, “My players needed me too. They were grieving as well because they would babysit Charlie, and they loved me so much that it was hurting them to see me hurting.”
Moran’s players started to call Charlie their sixth man, a basketball term for a player who doesn’t start the game but is essential to the team. “I still feel so supported and loved and seen by my UWL family,” Moran says. “They keep Charlie’s name alive and continue to validate these difficult times not just on his birthday, not just at the funeral, but on all the days in between that are really, really tough.”
Remembering Charlie through Helping Others
As Charlie’s community moved through grief, Moran’s brother Connor, friend Tony, and others started brainstorming about ways that Charlie’s short life might leave an even bigger footprint.
As they researched, they learned that while the state of Wisconsin requires every employee at state-licensed childcare centers to be trained in CPR and the use of automated external defibrillators, the state doesn’t require actual AEDs on the premises. They wanted to bridge that gap.
In August, the group hosted a kickoff for Bubba’s Fund, a donor-advised fund under the La Crosse Area Community Foundation. The night included storytelling, films, and music courtesy of the Weber Brothers Band—Alex and his siblings. The goal was to raise $20,000. They raised $60,000. Bubba’s Fund is now working to place AEDs in every state-licensed childcare facility in La Crosse.
Bubba's Fund has hosted a number of fundraisers to raise money to provide AEDs to La Crosse childcare centers and to support the nonprofit Rising Athletes.
“We don’t know if an AED would have saved Charlie’s life if it had been onsite, but we wanted to at least give our community and other families in this area the best chance to avoid something like we experienced,” Alex says.
Bubba’s Fund is also partnering with Wisconsin senator Brad Pfaff to write legislation called Bubba’s Law, which would provide $2 million over a two-year span to cover two-thirds of the cost of any AED equipment or replacement parts for state-licensed childcare centers. When the legislation hits the table, the Bubba’s Fund crew will spend a couple of months lobbying to get it approved.
Meanwhile, they’re expanding their goals. In January, they’ll hold Bubba’s Youth Night to raise funds for Rising Athletes, a La Crosse organization that helps kids from low-income backgrounds overcome barriers to sports participation, like team fees and equipment. Sports have been foundational in Moran and Alex’s lives, and they want all kids to be able to benefit from playing them.
“I’m so glad our friends and family came forth with ideas of how to support us and honor Charlie. Now we’re seeing the fruits of that,” Alex says. “We’re trying our best every day to forge ahead with Charlie’s life by carrying it in ours.”